Tuesday 10 April 2007

WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL, Thoughts from a bride and groom. FICTION

GROOMS THOUGHTS
Does,nt she look beautiful, she looks like a million dollars, whoah man, I am such a lucky guy to be married to the fittest woman on the planet!
I never thought I would see this day, I loved this woman since the first day of primary school, she wet herself, but I saw past that, lets hope that she does,nt repeat the episode right now!
Wait a minute, has she got toothpaste on her lip, no, I must be seeing things, Oh yes, she has toothpaste on her lip, Oh no, my poor darling!!!!!!!!!
Wait, if I make eye contact with her, I wonder if she will notice something wrong,
BRIDES THOUGHTS
Cowabunga! I finally did it, and I did not trip over once, though I did not think much of the car in which I was transported here in, It had birds poop on the bonnet and imagine my horror when I come back from honeymoon, and people constantly remind me that I was driven here in a car that a bird plopped on!
I,m starving, only ate a bowl of cornflakes at 6am this morning, hope my belly don,t rumble when I give my wedding vows
What big nostrils he has, I have known him since primary school, and I never noticed his big nostrils before.
Oh is,nt he just adorable though, he even has dimples. bless his little cotton socks, but why is he giving me that look
Oh no,I have something on my lip, Wait a minute, its toothpaste. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I want to run away. and I,m bursting for the loo! Its going to be like the niagra falls in a minute, Olivia (6 year old bridesmaid) is crossing her legs as if to say she needs a wee!
Please take her out someone!
GROOMS THOUGHTS
I,m glad she got the hint, but bless her, she did look embarrassed, Wonder if she is having second thoughts about marrying me, I hope not, as she is my world!
I can sleep on a bed of nails if she told me to. I love her loads, and would do anything for her.
I,m gasping for that pint, I hope Rick (best man) buys me the first pint!
It has been such a busy morning, that I cut myself shaving, I was in such a hurry, I hope its not bleeding at this moment in time.
Wait, does,nt Ricks mum look good for her age, she is nearly 60!
I would love to be married that long, and look good as her, but I,m a fella and Ricks dad is going bald so maybe not.
Oh no, I forgot to polish my shoes, mum would kill me afterwards, I,m surprised she has,nt spat on a tissue and wiped my face with it!
BRIDES THOUGHTS.
My feet are killing me in these high heels, Can we sit down please Mr Vicar, Oh and Olivia can then go to the toilet!
THE WEDDING PHOTO,S
BRIDES THOUGHTS.
Why do I feel like I,m on some catwalk, and why does it take so long to take one photo!
My feet are killing me, and I have the sun in my eyes
GROOMS THOUGHTS
I,m looking forward to getting some grub down my neck, I am fed up of this photo malarky, always have done!
BRIDES THOUGHTS
My face is aching already with this smiling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GROOMS THOUGHTS
Am I allowed to pull a funny face!
BRIDES THOUGHTS
Does,nt he look beautiful in his suit, my handsome husband
GROOMS THOUGHTS
She is the most beautiful thing to happen to me
THE FIRST DANCE
BRIDES THOUGHTS
Please don,t stamp on my toes!
GROOMS THOUGHTS
I wish people would stop looking at me!
THE THOUGHTS OF THE INLAWS
BRIDES MUM AND DAD
Mother in Law
How many tears have I shed today, oh wait, heres another one!
Father in law
He better not break her heart! I am the proudest father in the world
Mother in Law
I hope she,s ok, she gets nervous when people are watching her
Father in Law
Whens he going to buy me a pint
GROOMS MUM AND DAD
Mother in Law
Does,nt Olivia look an angel in that dress, my little grandaughter, bridesmaid, oh how lovely is that, Wish He would be that romantic with me,take me in his arms,give me a big sloppy kiss and tell me he loved me, instead of scoffing that pork pie
Father in Law
That pie is disgusting,this buffet is rubbish, even the whole family could put on a better spread then this
BACK TO BRIDE AND GROOM
Bride
I will never change him for the world, even if brad pitt rescued me from a towering inferno.
Groom
I will never change her for the world, but will change her awful fashion sense
THE END

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